“Every form of refuge has its price”
—Lyin’ Eyes, Eagles

Your copay today is $50.
On a scale of 0-10—
0, being no pain;
10, being the worst pain you can imagine—
what number is your pain now?
You have to fit
into a box on a form.
Is your pain (check one)
burning, aching, throbbing, or piercing?
Chronic or acute?
At what time of day does it hurt?
Under what conditions (such as stormy weather)?
Does your pain ever break through
(persist after you take medication)?
On the diagram of the body
mark where you hurt,
using arrows for sharp pain,
shading for dull pain.

Take two extra-strength Tylenol
and don’t complain.
Nobody wants a patient who isn’t.

Your copay today is $50.
Tell me about your fear.
Makes it hard for you to sleep at night…
I understand your anxiety and pain.
My goal is for us to establish
a good working relationship
in a secure holding environment,
to comfort,
to help you become a more sturdy ego,
independent
in spite of your DSM IV diagnosis.
You have every chance
of living a healthy, well-adjusted life.

Just don’t expect a counselor
to solve all your problems.
See you next week.

Hello, my name is John. I am a human being.
—Hi, John!
—How are you?
—Good to see ya!
I’ve been coming to meetings for months now.
They really help, you care,
I’m working the program:
Serenity,
Courage,
Wisdom.
I miss Michael, guess we all do,
it’s so hard to watch somebody crash and burn, but:
Shit happens.
Easy does it.
One day at a time.

Beat and alone, when the dark casts no shadows,
all the tears that run down into our mouth
taste of salt.

Okay, okay! Love—
one human being for another,
all human beings for all others—
love transforms each of the above.
I saw them in their darkest, most broken form,
loveleast,
what insurance pays for
and courts mandate.
The DSM IV doesn’t have a code for love—
one human being for another,
all human beings for all others—
and I will show you a more excellent Love:

Beyond the sheltering sky,
(beneath it, too)
I AM
always with you
bearing your pain with you,
I AM
freeing you from the prison
of your ego and your angst
(though I AM not promising
you’ll never be afraid,
just that you’ll never ultimately need to be),
I AM
tasting the salt of your tears,
making you whole.

Your copay is your life,
all you have, all you are, all you ever will be—
The gift you get in return

I AM.