Commenting on “Blessed are the peacemakers,” he states: “Suffering willingly endured is stronger than evil, it spells death to evil.” (A Testament to Freedom, p. 317)

I keep always in view this icon:

Christ the Redeemer by Andrei Rublev, ca. 1410

In his book To Behold the Beauty of the Lord Henri Nouwen commented that the damage to the icon (by the preeminent Russian iconographer) symbolized for him the suffering of the Lord.

In reading a book for my Sunday School discussion group (via Skype!) I came across the notion of “a mellow spirit” being one of the pillars of healthy spiritual life. I like it. We can become so overwhelmed with the sunami of sorrow that we cannot let go and simply be in the joy of the Lord.

For me, though, it’s not mellowness that I lack. It’s willingness to deny self, take up the cross, and follow. So, I’m praying in the simple everyday things I will obey. Bonhoeffer insists “Only the believers obey and only the obedient believe.”

God help me to Trust and Obey!

Haven’t posted in a couple weeks. I apologize . I’ve written a couple posts, and trashed them.

Winter’s hard for me. The dark days sap my spirit. I feel like a dead tree.

It’s a great time to remember something I picked up years ago, I think from Campus Crusade:

<<<FACT<<<FAITH<<<FEELING<<<

If the line above were a train, FACT would be the engine, FAITH the passenger car, and FEELING the caboose.

FACT: Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again.

FAITH: I need no other argument, I need no other plea; it is enough that Jesus died, and that he died for me.

FEELING: The gathering light little by little is overcoming hang-head drag along daze of  winter.

Thanks be to God.

Luther gave a three point process for doing theology:

• Oratio (Prayer)
• Meditato (Meditation)
• Tentatio (Anfechtung) A terrific article here in Concordia Theological Quarterly 47:1, pp. 15-30.

(See ML’s Basic Theological Works, ed. Lull, p. 72) In just a couple searches I’ve found websites, articles, and much more on Luther’s outline of the theological process (above). Although new to me, it’s well known to Lutherans, I guess.

Luther experienced Anfechtungen all his life, and reflected on what these periods of severe angst meant to him as a Christian. Evidently, he was occasionally terrified that he was not one of the elect, those chosen before the foundation of the world to be saved.

Luther believed theology is struggle.

A CPE Supervisor had taught pastoral counseling in Manila; during the People’s Revolution against dictator Marcos in 1973, the Supervisor held his seminars in the streets. For one Clinical Case Conference, he discussed working with a client,  born to wealth and privilege, but imprisoned and tortured for siding with the poor and advocating reform.

He said: We don’t call it “liberation theology” because that implies  achieving the goal. In fact, we have no guarantee of success. So we speak of “the theology of struggle.”

Struggle (here meaning becoming a servant, being imprisoned, tortured, and exiled) is a good translation of Anfechtung. “The theology of struggle” is a good way to think of Luther’s outline.

A biblical struggler was Jacob/Israel. Having become a wealthy man through shrewd business dealings with his crafty uncle Laban, Jacob took flight with his flocks and herds, his goods, his wives and children. But he was running toward his brother Esau, whom he had cheated and who was coming to meet him with 400 armed men. You can read the story here (Genesis 32).

Jacob (Hebrew for “he grasps the heel, he deceives”) sent all that was his ahead across the River Jabbok, and spent the night alone. A “man” wrestled with him until daybreak.

Here it gets interesting. Who is this man? The story fits the pattern of a folk tale about a demon guarding the fords of a river. The man is anxious to leave before sunrise; he dislocates Jacob’s hip socket, but cannot overpower the fierce patriarch.

Many interpret this man as a demonic figure. Luther believed that struggle, Anfechtung, was the attack of Satan and his hordes. Satan used every weapon against Luther: even the Word, by misinterpreting it, by emphasizing Law and God’s wrath.

The mystery man at the river doesn’t fit neatly into that pattern, however. He blessed Jacob:

Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with human beings and have overcome.”

(Genesis 32.28 TNIV)

The name probably means “he struggles with God.” (See TNIV note f.) And Jacob said, “I saw God face to face, and yet was spared.”

I’m intimately acquainted with Anfechtung. It’s my personality type, I’m like Puddleglum, the marshwiggle in C.S. Lewis’ The Silver Chair. He expected the adventure to turn out badly; nevertheless, he would not give up. The other wiggles wanted him to learn that life is more than fricasseed frogs and eel pie.”

I met a dear saint, age 103, waiting for the elevator at a retirement center. “How are you?” I asked. She answered, “This old house is pretty run down, but I’m doing fine.”  The house I live in is a wreck. Anfechtung is a frequent guest.

Paul said, “We have this treasure in clay jars” (v.7). He described how the apostles were hard-pressed, perplexed, persecuted, struck down  —but not destroyed. (2 Cor 4). He said:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

2 Corinthians 4.16

more…

If, however, you feel and are inclined to think you have made it, flattering yourself with your own little books, teaching or writing, because you have done it beautifully and preached excellently; if you are highly pleased when someone praises you in the presence of others; if you would perhaps look for praise, and would sulk or quit what you are doing if you do not get it—if you are of that stripe, dear friend, then take yourself by the ears, and if you do this in the right way you will find a beautiful pair of big, long shaggy donkey ears. Then do not spare any expense! Decorate them with golden bells, so that people will be able to hear you wherever you go, point their fingers at you and say, “See, see! There goes that clever beast, who can write such exquisite books and preach so remarkably well.” That very moment you will be blessed and blessed beyond measure in the kingdom of heaven. Yes, in that heaven where hellfire is ready for the devil and his angels.

Preface to the Wittenberg edition of Luther’s German Writings (1539) in Martin Luther’s Basic Theological Writings, ed. Timothy F. Lull, 2^nd ed.(Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2005), p. 73.

Don Francisco is a great singer of Scripture-based ballads. I had the high privilege of studying Biblical Hebrew with Don’s father Dr. Clyde Francisco. One of my favorites of Don’s songs  tells the story of Balaam’s ass. When the prophet set off on a junket God did not highly approve of, the donkey spoke a word of warning.  You can read the original story in Numbers 22.21-41. The clincher:

The Lord’s the one who makes the choice of the instrument He’s usin’
We don’t know the reasons and the plans behind His choosin’
So when the Lord starts usin’ you don’t you pay it any mind
He ‘could have used the dog next door if He’d been so inclined.

If you need a set of bells for personal use, I’ll be happy to lend you some of mine. I have a fine collection.

People were also bringing babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them.  But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18.15-17 TNIV

He called a little child, whom he placed among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes a humble place—becoming like this child—is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. Matthew 18.2-5, 10-11 TNIV

 Jesus’ disciples held to the common view of children in the Roman Empire: they were to be seen and not heard. They had little or no value. Many were abandoned in the town garbage.

Jesus looked at things quite differently. While the world valued the religious leader, or the wealthy ruler, God values the weak and helpless—the widow, the orphan, the outcast.

No scripture is more tender than these verses (above) which show us Jesus, willing to set aside a day of teaching or preaching to spend it with children.

Pastors are sometimes trained never to make hospital calls without spending a few minutes looking in on the newborns. They remind us that life is a miracle, life itself alone without all the add-ons we have cluttered ourselves with.

Psalm 139 describes the miracle of life like this:

For you created my inmost being;
       you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

   I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well.

   My frame was not hidden from you
       when I was made in the secret place.
       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

   your eyes saw my unformed body.
       All the days ordained for me
       were written in your book
       before one of them came to be.   Psalm 139.13-16 TNIV

Innocent and helpless, children—especially preemies like Colby who face many challenges—teach us to cherish each moment of life. We love these little ones, can’t help it! and are loved in return. Often they teach us about courage as they fight to overcome difficulties.

Struggles like Colby’s and his family’s cause us to question our Creator. Sometimes we feel a tidal wave of emotions. Other times, we’re simply numb under the weight of the burden.

I have endured many struggles. A preemie myself, I had cerebral palsy, a mild case. I can’t begin to comprehend, however, what all this is like for Colby’s family.

I am persuaded, though, that little ones can teach us how precious life is and how much love can overcome.

The Minters—Lee, Beverly, Olivia and Colby—and all who love them abide in my heart today.

One of the most important passages in the Bible on the subject of giving is 2 Corinthians 8-9. Paul is collecting money from the Gentile churches of Macedonia and Asia Minor for the poor Jewish Christians of Jerusalem.

This was the climax of his life’s work.

The principles I see in these verses are:

• Give (money) as God has blessed you.
• First give yourself totally to God.
• Jesus’ self-emptying, descending from heaven’s throne to Calvary’s cross, is our prime example.
• Sow little, reap little—sow much, reap much.
• Hilarious (the Greek word) giving celebrates God’s insane abundance.
• God gives us more than enough to be generous—both grain for food and grain for seed.
• Giving enriches the giver!

God reinforced these lessons in my heart today. I want to thank God for the generosity of Trinity church and friends who reached out to help us with medical bills in past weeks and months.

Paul wrote:

For, as I can testify, they [the Macedonians]  voluntarily gave according to their means, and even beyond their means, begging us earnestly for the privilege of sharing in this ministry to the saints– and this, not merely as we expected; they gave themselves first to the Lord and, by the will of God, to us.

2 Cor 8:3-5 (NRSV)

For you know the generous act of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that by his poverty you might become rich.

2 Cor 8:9 (NRSV)

The point is this: the one who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the one who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work.

 As it is written,

“He scatters abroad, he gives to the poor;
     his righteousness endures forever.”
He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way for your great generosity, which will produce thanksgiving to God through us; for the rendering of this ministry not only supplies the needs of the saints but also overflows with many thanksgivings to God.

2 Cor 9:6-12 (NRSV)

Flush with the success of earlier efforts, I added a protein booster whey powder, a couple eggs, and two tablespoons of oil.

After 25 minutes in the oven, the knife came out clean.

We cut the cake the next day to store it. It consisted of an outside ring, inside ring and center.

The outside was perfect, a dream of a cake.

The inside was still semi-liquid, doughy.

The center was empty.

T. S. Eliot:

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!

Wow! What an image of spiritual life!

It is critical for our spiritual lives to be real, nourishing, whole.

Not cream puffs without cream.

And, when you’re starving, a good hearty piece of bread is better than a pastry.

I’m reading Dom Helder Camara in the Orbis Books series Modern Spiritual Masters. I was intrigued that I never heard of him before, yet the blurb identified him as a major player in Vatican II and an archbishop (?) who implemented changes to move the Brazilian and Latin American church toward ideals of Poverty and Service.

He embodied the bishop Victor Hugo described in the opening pages of Les Miserables. Fluent in French,  he must have known that book well. The Brazilian dictatorship of the 1960s silenced him in the country, but could not outside.

Conservative, fervent anti-Communist pope John Paul II dismantled most of his accomplishments. His writings are largely in Portuguese and housed in Recife, I believe. Orbis is doing world Christianity a great service in bringing the riches of his thought to light.

I confess I  got a flyer offering them at half off. I purchased:

• Dom Helder Camara
• Pedro Arrupe
• Thomas Merton
• Evelyn Underhill
• Simone Weil
• Writings on Contemplation and Compassion, ed. Robert Ellsburg.

Easily a year’s worth of reading and reflection.  I was introduced to the series by the volume on Dorothee Sölle, the German theologian. That led me to read her magnum opus The Silent Cry, which I’ve written about.

Reading is a way out of despair for me. It helps me in these increasingly dark days. Advent is around the corner, my heart cries out for light, light, light!

1600 years ago a child went missing, a sign child went missing, and  is still missing today for most folks.

Child 1: Shear… “A remnant will return”

When God gave the faithless king Ahas a sign through the prophet Isaiah, he said, “The ‘almah is with child and shall bear a son, and shall name him ‘Immanuel’—God with us.” (Isaiah 7.14).

Isaiah and his wife the prophetess already had a child Shear-jashub (‘A remnant shall return.’)

God instructed the prophet to take his son Shear-jashub with him to meet the king (who sacrificed his son to pagan gods). As prophet and king talked, perhaps the child ran around, as children do.

The prophet called out to his child: “Shear-jashub! Shear-jashub!”

Each time he proclaimed God’s message to the king: “A few will return.”

This means either “only a few of the enemies you fear will survive to go home” or “only a few Israelite exiles will return from Babylon.” Or maybe it means both.

The exiles returned from Babylon in 538 BCE about 200 years after Isaiah confronted the king. We know the date because in that year Cyrus issued an edict allowing exiles to go home.

Child 2: Maher…. “The spoils speeds, the prey hastens”

Isaiah 8 tells us of the child we miss.

Isaiah has a legal document drawn up and witnessed which says: “Belonging to Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz” (The spoil speeds, the prey hastens.)

Then Isaiah makes love to the prophetess (presumably his wife), and nine months later his second child Maher… is born.

The young woman, the ‘almah, of 7.14 has to be first the prophetess (700 years later, another maiden, a virgin named Mary fulfills the prophet’s word again. Matthew leaves no question about Mary’s being a virgin.)

Isaiah makes his point to king Ahaz twice (Isaiah 7.16 and 8.4). Before Maher is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, the small neighboring kingdoms who are bullying Ahaz will be destroyed by Assyria, the mighty empire to the northeast.

What’s the big deal?

Prophecy is first fulfilled in the near future in the prophet’s time. Then, sometimes it may have another fulfillment later. This is true of Isaiah 7.14.

Suppose you go God and say, “Lord, I’m hurting, I need your help.”

“Fine,” God answers, “in 1000 years I’ll do something miraculous.”

How does that help you in the immediate time frame?

God doesn’t leave us hanging for long periods. The answer comes soon. Maybe not as soon as we’d like.

And yes, 1000 years is like a day.

Nevertheless, and especially in the case of Isaiah 7.14, God’s answer came in nine months. And again in 700 years, nine months.

Child 3… Jesus

When Mary’s child was born, not that many people noticed.

Historians did not notice. Three kings from the East noticed; they alerted Herod, tragically.

An innkeeper didn’t notice. Most of Bethlehem didn’t notice.

A few ecstatic shepherds told of a sky full of angels singing “Glory!”

When Mary and Joseph took him to the Jerusalem temple, most overlooked the little boy they brought to be circumcized.

Except an old man Simeon, and an old woman Anna.

They saw the Light of heaven nestled in Mary’s arms.

Two lessons

Our neighborhood Bible study group saw two lessons at least in Isaiah 7-8.

1. If we open our eyes, we can see God with us all around. Especially, there are Immanuel people, who remind us of God’s presence.

2. We as followers of Mary’s child are called to be Immanuel people, carrying the Light with us to everyone we encounter every day.

Wedding at Cana, Vermeyen, 1530

Has it been worth it?

Looking back over my life,  this is what I see:

Long before the “conservative resurgence” that reshaped the SBC into its present form, I was born a Southern Baptist in West Texas.

(I now belong to no denomination. I am smply a Christ-follower.)

We were naively fundamental in belief, but moderate in politics, generous in spirit.

Beneath the surface my family was anything but the God-fearing sanitized version everyone saw; we were mired in a vicious transgenerational cycle of alcoholism and abuse.

I was baptized at age five, having to stand on a cinder block in the baptistry. At age 13, during a Billy Graham crusade, I made a second profession of faith, one more conscious and independent than the first. At 16 I was licensed to preach, at 19 ordained.

For a male it was a simple process.

I enjoyed school, and made As and Bs. I earned college and two seminary degrees.

I was pastor of five churches. The small country churches I served while a seminary student were sweeter than the conflicted full-time churches which followed seminary. I ended my career as chaplain of a nursing home, before retiring on disability.

My wife of nearly 40 years has an earned doctorate and is a United Methodist minister. Our 35-year-old son lives nearby and checks in on us every day or so.

Both she and I endure major illnesses.

Has it been worth it?.

John 2 begins with Jesus attending a wedding at Cana in Galilee, today an unknown village. The servants tell his Mother, “They’re out of wine.”

In some ways that describes us. Wine, the symbol of gladness, joy. We struggle with pain and disability. Clearly our lives are curving downward.

Mary approaches Jesus. “Woman,” he replies, “what has that to do with me?”

There’s nothing remarkable about two older people growing. Why should God be distracted from running the universe for their sake?

Jesus tells the servants to “fill full” the six large ceremonial jars in the house.

What do you do in difficult times? Exactly what you do every day. Live simply. Pray without ceasing. Love without limit.

“Now,” Jesus tells them. “Take some to the steward of the feast.”

They do so. He drinks, and says, “You kept the best for last.”

Is it true? Is the best joy in this life to be had at the end?

I don’t know. I’m not there yet.

But people I love and respect who have reached the end of life have said, “Yes. It’s worth it. God does save the best for last.”

As Tolkien put it: when the silver rain parts, you discover white shores, a far green country, and a swift sunrise.

Today is tough. Tomorrow will be tougher.

And often there is joy and peace today. There will be joy and peace at the last.

I would love to close this book with something more substantial than empty faith, unattached love, and hopeless hope. I would love to be able to make practical suggestions about how to identify and claim the transformative qualities of the dark night in your own life. I yearn to offer something that would make the hard times easier and bring a definite sense of meaning to the unavoidable sufferings of life….But the nature of the dark night does not permit that.

Gerald May, The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores… (2004), p. 194.

What the hell kind of self help book is this?

An honest one. In fact, it isn’t a self help book at all.

I hope to flesh this out later.

N.B. The word play “mystery” vs. “mastery” comes from May’s book Will and Spirit.

See John 1.5 NEB ”Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not mastered it.” Darkness has neither subdued nor even understood light. Dark night is light so bright, it appears dark to the human soul/spirit.