One of the most important passages in the Bible on the subject of giving is 2 Corinthians 8-9. Paul is collecting money from the Gentile churches of Macedonia and Asia Minor for the poor Jewish Christians of Jerusalem.

This was the climax of his life’s work.

The principles I see in these verses are:

• Give (money) as God has blessed you.
• First give yourself totally to God.
• Jesus’ self-emptying, descending from heaven’s throne to Calvary’s cross, is our prime example.
• Sow little, reap little—sow much, reap much.
• Hilarious (the Greek word) giving celebrates God’s insane abundance.
• God gives us more than enough to be generous—both grain for food and grain for seed.
• Giving enriches the giver!

God reinforced these lessons in my heart today. I want to thank God for the generosity of Trinity church and friends who reached out to help us with medical bills in past weeks and months.

Paul wrote:

For, as I can testify, they [the Macedonians]  voluntarily gave according to their means, and even beyond their means, begging us earnestly for the privilege of sharing in this ministry to the saints– and this, not merely as we expected; they gave themselves first to the Lord and, by the will of God, to us.

2 Cor 8:3-5 (NRSV)

For you know the generous act of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that by his poverty you might become rich.

2 Cor 8:9 (NRSV)

The point is this: the one who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the one who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work.

 As it is written,

“He scatters abroad, he gives to the poor;
     his righteousness endures forever.”
He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way for your great generosity, which will produce thanksgiving to God through us; for the rendering of this ministry not only supplies the needs of the saints but also overflows with many thanksgivings to God.

2 Cor 9:6-12 (NRSV)

Flush with the success of earlier efforts, I added a protein booster whey powder, a couple eggs, and two tablespoons of oil.

After 25 minutes in the oven, the knife came out clean.

We cut the cake the next day to store it. It consisted of an outside ring, inside ring and center.

The outside was perfect, a dream of a cake.

The inside was still semi-liquid, doughy.

The center was empty.

T. S. Eliot:

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!

Wow! What an image of spiritual life!

It is critical for our spiritual lives to be real, nourishing, whole.

Not cream puffs without cream.

And, when you’re starving, a good hearty piece of bread is better than a pastry.

I’m reading Dom Helder Camara in the Orbis Books series Modern Spiritual Masters. I was intrigued that I never heard of him before, yet the blurb identified him as a major player in Vatican II and an archbishop (?) who implemented changes to move the Brazilian and Latin American church toward ideals of Poverty and Service.

He embodied the bishop Victor Hugo described in the opening pages of Les Miserables. Fluent in French,  he must have known that book well. The Brazilian dictatorship of the 1960s silenced him in the country, but could not outside.

Conservative, fervent anti-Communist pope John Paul II dismantled most of his accomplishments. His writings are largely in Portuguese and housed in Recife, I believe. Orbis is doing world Christianity a great service in bringing the riches of his thought to light.

I confess I  got a flyer offering them at half off. I purchased:

• Dom Helder Camara
• Pedro Arrupe
• Thomas Merton
• Evelyn Underhill
• Simone Weil
• Writings on Contemplation and Compassion, ed. Robert Ellsburg.

Easily a year’s worth of reading and reflection.  I was introduced to the series by the volume on Dorothee Sölle, the German theologian. That led me to read her magnum opus The Silent Cry, which I’ve written about.

Reading is a way out of despair for me. It helps me in these increasingly dark days. Advent is around the corner, my heart cries out for light, light, light!

1600 years ago a child went missing, a sign child went missing, and  is still missing today for most folks.

Child 1: Shear… “A remnant will return”

When God gave the faithless king Ahas a sign through the prophet Isaiah, he said, “The ‘almah is with child and shall bear a son, and shall name him ‘Immanuel’—God with us.” (Isaiah 7.14).

Isaiah and his wife the prophetess already had a child Shear-jashub (‘A remnant shall return.’)

God instructed the prophet to take his son Shear-jashub with him to meet the king (who sacrificed his son to pagan gods). As prophet and king talked, perhaps the child ran around, as children do.

The prophet called out to his child: “Shear-jashub! Shear-jashub!”

Each time he proclaimed God’s message to the king: “A few will return.”

This means either “only a few of the enemies you fear will survive to go home” or “only a few Israelite exiles will return from Babylon.” Or maybe it means both.

The exiles returned from Babylon in 538 BCE about 200 years after Isaiah confronted the king. We know the date because in that year Cyrus issued an edict allowing exiles to go home.

Child 2: Maher…. “The spoils speeds, the prey hastens”

Isaiah 8 tells us of the child we miss.

Isaiah has a legal document drawn up and witnessed which says: “Belonging to Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz” (The spoil speeds, the prey hastens.)

Then Isaiah makes love to the prophetess (presumably his wife), and nine months later his second child Maher… is born.

The young woman, the ‘almah, of 7.14 has to be first the prophetess (700 years later, another maiden, a virgin named Mary fulfills the prophet’s word again. Matthew leaves no question about Mary’s being a virgin.)

Isaiah makes his point to king Ahaz twice (Isaiah 7.16 and 8.4). Before Maher is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, the small neighboring kingdoms who are bullying Ahaz will be destroyed by Assyria, the mighty empire to the northeast.

What’s the big deal?

Prophecy is first fulfilled in the near future in the prophet’s time. Then, sometimes it may have another fulfillment later. This is true of Isaiah 7.14.

Suppose you go God and say, “Lord, I’m hurting, I need your help.”

“Fine,” God answers, “in 1000 years I’ll do something miraculous.”

How does that help you in the immediate time frame?

God doesn’t leave us hanging for long periods. The answer comes soon. Maybe not as soon as we’d like.

And yes, 1000 years is like a day.

Nevertheless, and especially in the case of Isaiah 7.14, God’s answer came in nine months. And again in 700 years, nine months.

Child 3… Jesus

When Mary’s child was born, not that many people noticed.

Historians did not notice. Three kings from the East noticed; they alerted Herod, tragically.

An innkeeper didn’t notice. Most of Bethlehem didn’t notice.

A few ecstatic shepherds told of a sky full of angels singing “Glory!”

When Mary and Joseph took him to the Jerusalem temple, most overlooked the little boy they brought to be circumcized.

Except an old man Simeon, and an old woman Anna.

They saw the Light of heaven nestled in Mary’s arms.

Two lessons

Our neighborhood Bible study group saw two lessons at least in Isaiah 7-8.

1. If we open our eyes, we can see God with us all around. Especially, there are Immanuel people, who remind us of God’s presence.

2. We as followers of Mary’s child are called to be Immanuel people, carrying the Light with us to everyone we encounter every day.

Wedding at Cana, Vermeyen, 1530

Has it been worth it?

Looking back over my life,  this is what I see:

Long before the “conservative resurgence” that reshaped the SBC into its present form, I was born a Southern Baptist in West Texas.

(I now belong to no denomination. I am smply a Christ-follower.)

We were naively fundamental in belief, but moderate in politics, generous in spirit.

Beneath the surface my family was anything but the God-fearing sanitized version everyone saw; we were mired in a vicious transgenerational cycle of alcoholism and abuse.

I was baptized at age five, having to stand on a cinder block in the baptistry. At age 13, during a Billy Graham crusade, I made a second profession of faith, one more conscious and independent than the first. At 16 I was licensed to preach, at 19 ordained.

For a male it was a simple process.

I enjoyed school, and made As and Bs. I earned college and two seminary degrees.

I was pastor of five churches. The small country churches I served while a seminary student were sweeter than the conflicted full-time churches which followed seminary. I ended my career as chaplain of a nursing home, before retiring on disability.

My wife of nearly 40 years has an earned doctorate and is a United Methodist minister. Our 35-year-old son lives nearby and checks in on us every day or so.

Both she and I endure major illnesses.

Has it been worth it?.

John 2 begins with Jesus attending a wedding at Cana in Galilee, today an unknown village. The servants tell his Mother, “They’re out of wine.”

In some ways that describes us. Wine, the symbol of gladness, joy. We struggle with pain and disability. Clearly our lives are curving downward.

Mary approaches Jesus. “Woman,” he replies, “what has that to do with me?”

There’s nothing remarkable about two older people growing. Why should God be distracted from running the universe for their sake?

Jesus tells the servants to “fill full” the six large ceremonial jars in the house.

What do you do in difficult times? Exactly what you do every day. Live simply. Pray without ceasing. Love without limit.

“Now,” Jesus tells them. “Take some to the steward of the feast.”

They do so. He drinks, and says, “You kept the best for last.”

Is it true? Is the best joy in this life to be had at the end?

I don’t know. I’m not there yet.

But people I love and respect who have reached the end of life have said, “Yes. It’s worth it. God does save the best for last.”

As Tolkien put it: when the silver rain parts, you discover white shores, a far green country, and a swift sunrise.

Today is tough. Tomorrow will be tougher.

And often there is joy and peace today. There will be joy and peace at the last.

I would love to close this book with something more substantial than empty faith, unattached love, and hopeless hope. I would love to be able to make practical suggestions about how to identify and claim the transformative qualities of the dark night in your own life. I yearn to offer something that would make the hard times easier and bring a definite sense of meaning to the unavoidable sufferings of life….But the nature of the dark night does not permit that.

Gerald May, The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores… (2004), p. 194.

What the hell kind of self help book is this?

An honest one. In fact, it isn’t a self help book at all.

I hope to flesh this out later.

N.B. The word play “mystery” vs. “mastery” comes from May’s book Will and Spirit.

See John 1.5 NEB ”Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not mastered it.” Darkness has neither subdued nor even understood light. Dark night is light so bright, it appears dark to the human soul/spirit.

Loss of pastoral care and counseling centers and training programs

I first encountered Gerald May through his book Will and Spirit: A Contemplative Psychology, (1982). At the time I was a full-time resident at the Virginia Institute of Pastoral Care (VIPCare), one of pastoral care and counseling’s premier institutions. We didn’t know then, but only one resident would come after me. Economics would slowly squeeze the educational program, until today it is a faint shadow of what it was.

Although almost nobody noticed, we lost one of the most valuable assets in the field, and not only at VIPCare. Across the nation pastoral counseling centers themselves are going out of business, and training and certification has been handed off to the university and the state.

Pastoral counseling uniquely focuses on the personhood of the counselor and her spiritual and professional formation. Secular training programs, modeled on the university, train the intellect and barely nod at the person, whose own largely unexamined unconscious and spirit will drive her counseling practice.

Active and passive praying

Anyway. Back to G. May and his writing. Gerald May’s The Dark Night of the Soul is deceptively simple. (G. May, of course, is distinct from Rollo May, also an outstanding psychologist and author.)

He gives an overview of the lives and writings of Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross, 16th century religious geniuses. John also is Spain’s national poet.

I’ve never had much success reading either of these people.

May defines “meditation” as primarily all the exercises and forms of prayer that we do, whereas “contemplation” is God’s sheer gift. All we can do with regard to the latter is “to welcome it with open arms.” These definitions vary with different writers. The definitions I’m more familiar with are:

• meditation, the first stage of praying, active, characterized by use of methods, images, thought.
• contemplation, a usually more “advanced” stage of praying, passive (receptive, welcoming with open arms), open, imageless, thoughtless.

I”m sorry to use the word “advanced” because it brings in all kinds of unwanted associations. But I can’t think of a better term.

May says prayer is active and passive. The two intermingle. You go back and forth from beginning to “advanced” phases. (There is no such thing as “advanced”; in prayer we’re all beginners.)

I like the image of God and soul as dance partners. (The “soul” is the deepest part of yourself, where you are most truly you, where God also is.) In active praying the human partner’s movement is more in view; in passive, God’s movement is. But both are interactive in both.

The human activity in the “passive” phase, however, is being receptive, welcoming with open arms. This is what Buddhists and others call “mindfulness,” a relaxed state of loving attentiveness to all that is.

(continued)

 Your feedback will be especially valuable to me. I hope you find these explorations of use in your daily walk with God.

Paul writes

I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Phil 4:11-13 (NRSV)

I’m struggling to learn how to be content. I’ve never had to go without essentials and many extras.

 The Gk word autarkes means “self contained.” I heard Professor Glenn Hinson, our great saint, give a talk on it once that I’ll never forget. It’s self-sufficient, self-contented, in a very positive way. Paul had learned to be independent of his circumstances.

That famous verse Phil 4.13 really means “I can face all things…” It’s not the “master of my fate” activist self-confidence, so often based on it.

Rather, it means “I can deal with whatever comes; in the strength of Christ, I can handle it.”

So we are learning. And we abide in gratitude because

God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Phil 4:19 (NRSV)

Not a blank check!

I downloaded budgeting software, and I’m learning about HVAC systems and EnergyStar standards.

All the houses in our neighborhood are the same age, so we have good references from neighbors.

Most important, Sandy’s feeling a little more stable these days. As she transfers from the dialysis center to home dialysis, it may still have ups and downs.

But it feels better.

It’s funny, you know, I’ve done so much thinking and reading about the two thirds world, the standard of living abroad.

The dollar figure for the new HVAC system translates into hours Sandy has to work, children that could be fed, pure water needed.

I find myself praying for God’s eyes, God’s wisdom.

We do have to live in North America. The new system will also meet the special requirements of home dialysis, which are stringent.

But it’s so clear to me, that in Africa priorities would be very different.

As I pray to be a world citizen, and to care about all the billions of people affected by our global economy; as I pray for liberation from North American white apartheid outlooks—at the same time, I’m checking out home loan interest rates and repayment schedules.

I wonder what Jesus would do.

Guilt is not an adequate response. It can be nothing more than  a way to assuage the rumblings of conscience without righteous change.

But, as we shelter in the climate of our new system in a few weeks,  I am thankful for God’s infinite bounty, and I  pray that our heart and home will be open to all humankind, at least in spirit, and whenever possible in person.

For now, perhaps, that will be enough.

But I haven’t found a way in that isn’t sappy.

“In all things God works for good…”

Yeah, but chances are, the person saying that is standing outside the crash zone of cancer, or violence, or indifference.

If I am the outsider, I don’t have the right to mouth such beautiful words. Because, with the slightest bit of english, they spin from sublime to obscene.

They minimize the immensity of your loss, they belittle your pain, they invalidate what you feel.

Imagine sitting with an Alzheimered elder, who has loved you all your life, by whose gentle looks and tender touches you learned what love is. Now she looks at you with hate, suspicion, fear.

What an abyss!

A black hole so dense that even light can’t escape it!

This mortal life is pot-holed with black holes. When you shine light into the depths of sorrow and pain, it gets turned into shadow by the alchemy of suffering.

Black holes are Fridays.

Don’t sing me the songs of Zion when the smoke of 9/11 hasn’t cleared.

Don’t tell me it’s Good Friday, when my best friend just got crucified!

When someone runs from my pain through a field of golden platitudes, I want to scream, Shut up!

Maybe, instead, I’ll have the wits to say: Be still.

That’s what I think of when I read Paul’s phrase “groans too deep for words.” (Rom 8.26)—be still!

Suffering is just too deep for words. At least at first, and who knows for how long?

The great cry of the Hebrew saints in suffering was, How long?

Jesus groaned at Lazarus’ tomb. John 11 says he was greatly disturbed, deeply moved. He wept.

We can unpack those things. His bowels were wrenched splagnizomai, like somebody kicked him in the guts.

When he saw the crowds, he had  [KJV: was moved with] compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

Matt 9:36 (NRSV)

Yes, I know at Lazarus’ grave he said, “I am the resurrection and the life,” and other positive things. Any one of a kind Child of God should feel free.

If you’re not “monogenes” [Gk one of a kind], however, then, you know, shut the ——- up.

Last night I finished reading, dimmed my light, piled up my pillows, and snuggled under my blankets. Often a M*A*S*H DVD distracts me from nagging aches. But this night a storm broke overhead.

I just listened to peals of thunder, the clangor of monster iron bells, the roar of rain falling like Niagara.

 I tried to imagine what it would be like to be out in the storm, like old King Lear. Native Americans in their teepees were more integrated into their environment than I in my climate controlled hobbit hole.

Thunder in Scripture

This morning I did a search of the NRSV for “thunder*”: 48 hits in 45 sections.

• Thunder as theophany: Exodus 19.16 On the morning of the third day there was thunder and lightning, as well as a thick cloud on the mountain, and a blast of a trumpet so loud that all the people who were in the camp trembled.
• Thunder as the voice of God: Ps 29.3  The voice of the LORD is over the waters; /      the God of glory thunders, /      the LORD, over mighty waters. Psalms 29:3 (NRSV)
• Thunder routing enemies: 1 Samuel 7.10 As Samuel was offering up the burnt offering, the Philistines drew near to attack Israel; but the LORD thundered with a mighty voice that day against the Philistines and threw them into confusion; and they were routed before Israel.
• Thunder authenticating the prophet: 1 Samuel 12.17 Is it not the wheat harvest today? I will call upon the LORD, that he may send thunder and rain; and you shall know and see that the wickedness that you have done in the sight of the LORD is great in demanding a king for yourselves.
• Thunder as Mystery of God: Job 26.14 These are indeed but the outskirts of his ways; / and how small a whisper do we hear of him!  / But the thunder of his power who can understand?”

This is a quick little survey. The thing is, I’m intrigued by the instances of

Secret Thunder.

• At Massah Test City, Meribah Quarrel Capital: Psalm 81.7 In distress you called, and I rescued you; / I answered you in the secret place of thunder; / I tested you at the waters of Meribah. The Israelites complained about the lack of water (Exodus 17) and the renal diet (Numbers 20), this after God defeated the Egyptians, parted the Red Sea, and provided manna and quail.
• The Seven Secret Thunders: Revelation 10:3-4  [The angel] gave a great shout, like a lion roaring. And when he shouted, the seven thunders sounded. And when the seven thunders had sounded, I was about to write, but I heard a voice from heaven saying, “Seal up what the seven thunders have said, and do not write it down.
  

   

The Sovereignty of God

The majesty of last night’s cannonade brought to mind the sovereignty of God. The Almighty does as the Almighty chooses, and humans have little say in the matter.

Deep calls to deep
at the thunder of your cataracts;
all your waves and your billows
have gone over me.

Ps 42.7 

Even though I’m a “with” character, Sandy’s the star above the title, I’m aggravated to say the least. I could ask, “Why me/us?” The answer to that whiny query  is “Why not me/us?” Billions of people in this world go without the basics. Many have renal disease and no medical care at all. So scratch ”Why me/us?” It’s-useless rant. If you must, give it a minute or two and move on.

God doesn’t tell us why. God calls us to be faithful.

In the end I thought of an old hymn. Martin Luther King Jr. refers to it in his speeches, which I’m reading in A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches of Martin Luther King Jr. Surely his life makes visible the sovereignty—or better,  the providence—of God. The old hymn?

I’ve seen the lightning flashing, I’ve heard the thunder roll.
I’ve felt sin’s breakers dashing, which almost conquered my soul.
I’ve heard the voice of my Savior, bidding me still to fight on.
He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone!

Refrain
No, never alone, no never alone,
He promised never to leave me,
He’ll claim me for His own;
No, never alone, no never alone.
He promised never to leave me,
Never to leave me alone.

You can listen: No, Never Alone

 In the end thunder and lightning remind me, the lives of me and mine, of all the beloved community, are held in everlasting arms of infinite mercy, grace, and love. Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one will snatch them out of my hand. What my Father has given me is greater than all else, and no one can snatch it out of the Father’s hand.”

John 10:27-29 (NRSV)

Ask for medical prognostication, and from any truthful physician you’ll get “Yes” and “No,” a mix of the probable and possible. Medicine is a mixture of miracle and maybe.

The Book of Common Prayer calls for psalm 88 to be read on the 17th a.m. Just my luck. 88 has to be one of the darkest psalms.

I often skip it, if my soul is already on the dung heap.

Today I read it, along with 89, 90, and 91.

91, of course, is one of the brightest psalms. One Satan quoted to Jesus in the temptations.

That confuses me. How am I supposed to claim ps 91 for my own, when Satan mouths it?

Anyway. Back to insight. Ps 88:

10 Do you work wonders for the dead, can shadows rise up to praise you? Pause

11 Do they speak in the grave of your faithful love, of your constancy in the place of perdition?

12 Are your wonders known in the darkness, your saving justice in the land of oblivion?

(New Jerusalem Bible, courtesy catholic online, it’s www.catholic.org/bible.)

What struck me here as I read is these rhetorical questions. The psalm is attributed to Heman, the native born, son of Korah, sick and suffering.

Heman answered these questions “No!”

Does God work wonders for the dead? NO

Can shadows rise up to praise you? NO

and so on.

Reminds me of Hosea 13.14, another instance of a rhetorical question with an anticipated answer of NO.

(NJB)

 This is as grim as it gets. Though Hosea 14 rummages through tradition for some scraps of hope, again it’s hard to look farther down from this pit.

This morning what struck me, though, reading the grim rhetorical questions put by Heman the sick and suffering, is what he doesn’t know: God’s answers are different from his.

To each of Heman’s questions, God in Christ answers Yes!

Do you work wonders for the dead? YES

Can shadows rise up to praise you? YES

Do they speak in the grave of your faithful love? YES

Of your constancy in the place of perdition? YES

Are your wonders known in the darkness, your saving justice in the land of oblivion? YES

Just ask Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. God is “the God of the living, not the dead,” Jesus said.

As for Hosea’s words, when Paul quotes them in 1 Corinthians 15, the mood has transformed from judgment to resurrection and rejoicing:

When this perishable body puts on imperishability, and this mortal body puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will be fulfilled:
“Death has been swallowed up in victory.”
“Where, O death, is your victory?
     Where, O death, is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 1 Corinthians 15,54-57.

Scholars believe the people of the Hebrew Bible began to realize the resurrection very late in the Persian period two or three centuries before Christ, perhaps gaining insights from the Zoroastrians.

I don’t know what the hope of future life is in Judaism today.

But for me as a Christian, I know. The answer beyond all my questions is Jesus.

For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you …was not “Yes and No”; but in him it is always “Yes.” For in him every one of God’s promises is a “Yes.” 

Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!