the blue ball screensaver keeps slipping
around the tv screen like a billiard ball.
clouds stain the sky. the Whole squats
in wait-and-see mode. dark hours stretch.
my belly rebels against the coffee I take
to wake me from the meds I take
to knock out pain—
only pain, not me!
to put only pain to sleep, not me!
the billiard ball keeps sliding around the screen,
soundless illusion, sequential computer program
running, running, running …
nowhere.
Arenas! where are you! Arenas!
like the Beauty in El Morro
they called El Niño, they killed him because
he made them think of who they might be,
like you, they killed you, too.
you screamed, therefore you existed,
you screamed, now a statistic,
dead man, statistic,
nothing more.
is this how You let them treat a son?
You see coils of wire feeding the nail machine.
a nail gun makes it
a piece of cake
nailing a human wrist to a wood beam
a piece of cake
nailing feet too, easy—
unless she screams.
she screams, therefore she exists.
eloi, eloi, lema sabachthani!
Arenas,
you cannot be a statistic.
you screamed.