Is the last best?

Wedding at Cana, Vermeyen, 1530

Has it been worth it?

Looking back over my life,  this is what I see:

Long before the “conservative resurgence” that reshaped the SBC into its present form, I was born a Southern Baptist in West Texas.

(I now belong to no denomination. I am smply a Christ-follower.)

We were naively fundamental in belief, but moderate in politics, generous in spirit.

Beneath the surface my family was anything but the God-fearing sanitized version everyone saw; we were mired in a vicious transgenerational cycle of alcoholism and abuse.

I was baptized at age five, having to stand on a cinder block in the baptistry. At age 13, during a Billy Graham crusade, I made a second profession of faith, one more conscious and independent than the first. At 16 I was licensed to preach, at 19 ordained.

For a male it was a simple process.

I enjoyed school, and made As and Bs. I earned college and two seminary degrees.

I was pastor of five churches. The small country churches I served while a seminary student were sweeter than the conflicted full-time churches which followed seminary. I ended my career as chaplain of a nursing home, before retiring on disability.

My wife of nearly 40 years has an earned doctorate and is a United Methodist minister. Our 35-year-old son lives nearby and checks in on us every day or so.

Both she and I endure major illnesses.

Has it been worth it?.

John 2 begins with Jesus attending a wedding at Cana in Galilee, today an unknown village. The servants tell his Mother, “They’re out of wine.”

In some ways that describes us. Wine, the symbol of gladness, joy. We struggle with pain and disability. Clearly our lives are curving downward.

Mary approaches Jesus. “Woman,” he replies, “what has that to do with me?”

There’s nothing remarkable about two older people growing. Why should God be distracted from running the universe for their sake?

Jesus tells the servants to “fill full” the six large ceremonial jars in the house.

What do you do in difficult times? Exactly what you do every day. Live simply. Pray without ceasing. Love without limit.

“Now,” Jesus tells them. “Take some to the steward of the feast.”

They do so. He drinks, and says, “You kept the best for last.”

Is it true? Is the best joy in this life to be had at the end?

I don’t know. I’m not there yet.

But people I love and respect who have reached the end of life have said, “Yes. It’s worth it. God does save the best for last.”

As Tolkien put it: when the silver rain parts, you discover white shores, a far green country, and a swift sunrise.

Today is tough. Tomorrow will be tougher.

And often there is joy and peace today. There will be joy and peace at the last.